Fifteen years ago when I was in a very difficult emotional time after experiencing several losses and was looking for a professional healer, I went to many therapists… just once.It wasn’t until I walked into the office of the person I ultimately committed to that I knew I’d found someone that could stand with me in the darkness of my inner wounds.
Looking back it is easy to see just how difficult it was for me to trust and open up to the level of intimacy that was needed to feel safe enough to ‘go there’ because that was a first for me. But the proof was very clear that doing my inner healing has great value because within a couple of years I was off of the eight daily medications I thought I’d be taking the rest of my life! And I also felt love in my heart that I never even knew existed.
Webster defines commitment as: the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc. All fear of commitment or intimacy goes back to an unhealed wound… typically it is about safety. After all, we are wired to serve and protect ourselves, right? So finding a healer you can commit to means you must be able to envision them as being safe enough to reveal all parts of yourself to and that can definitely be scary. Most of the time your ego (the land of serve and protect) will swoop in unconsciously and make sure you don’t reveal all parts of yourself to anyone.
If you’ve been looking and looking and still haven’t found that one healer/practitioner that you can open up to, you might just want to have a discussion with the part of yourself that fiercely protects your heart from being vulnerable. Most intimate relationships begin with projecting our divine light on the other person. It is called the Romantic Stage of the relationship. After the Romantic Stage fizzles, many people will leave it to seek the next ‘Romantic Stage’ relationship.
Others only use healers in “heal me now-911” mode. Healing is not magic and expectations for such can actually be a defensive technique to keep you safe. Depending on the seriousness of the problems and issues, it can take weeks, months or years to create the desired outcome of healing. This requires letting go of the timing so that you can relax into the process and allow it to divinely unfold.
Finding a practitioner/healer to help you through the stages of your healing journey so you can create the life you really want is crucial.
Here are a few tips:
- Find a healer that walks their talk. Are they committed to their own healing journey? They will be better able to show up for you when they are healthy and clear.
2. Trust your gut as to how you feel when with them. Does their healing space feel clear? Do you feel safe or judged? Are they compassionate? Do you like their style?
3. Do they have integrity? Can you trust them to keep your conversations and visit confidential?
4. Are they willing to admit when they don’t have the skill set you’re seeking and refer you to someone else—or do they think they have to know all of the answers? A great healer knows their job is to empower their client to find the answers within.
Remember, any healing journey is ultimately self-initiated. You are the one that knows what is best for you. The right healer works with you as a committed and compassionate partner in your process.
Once you find a healer you feel comfortable with, the next hurdle is getting through the romantic stage and into deeper healing so you can reach the level of trust needed to be more vulnerable and create a safe place for your inner child to heal its wounds. Every person’s timing is different. Honoring your individual pace will actually help to facilitate your healing journey. As you find courage within to commit to a deeper healing journey, the universe conspires to support you through this fabulous heart opening process of allowing your authentic inner light to shine and create a loving life.
This year, give yourself permission to love yourself enough to allow in more intimate relationships. Nothing is better than feeling love more deeply than you ever have before. The best place to start is with your personal inner healing journey and finding a healer that will stand in that sacred space with you.
I believe a healers’ greatest purpose is to help their clients connect with their greatest spiritual reality possible. And as my clients commit to their healing journey, I have rolled out new wellness packages with deeper discounts for longer commitments to help them do just that.
To see my new 2015 pricing and wellness packages click here.
With Love and Gratitude,
Tammy
